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that was one hell of a trip
20 most recent entries

Date:2007-12-26 00:22
Subject:long time

well. it has been quite a while since i last updated. i figure breaks usually give me enough time to update, and my time off has given me plenty of room to debrief and destress from this past semester.

so i started off my last fall semester way back in august. coming off an interesting summer in st. louis where i met some fun people, got a weird work experience, as well as the experience of living on my own. it was nice to come back to lehigh with people my age, not to mention everyone at ka.

this semester was brutal. even though i wasn't taking a lot of credits it tore me apart. i had no time for anything i had planned for coming in. i wanted to make trips to other schools, i wanted to keep running 5 days a week. i wanted to read a lot more and write.

yeah, ha. that didn't happen. i had group meetings, other meetings, projects, presentations, assignments, lab times, job interviews, second round interviews. jesus.

and there's the whole "what am i going to do after graduation" question that i had to answer. originally after htis summer i was leaning towards graduate school. then apps for jobs started and i was realizing the amount of money i could make. and how the jobs wouldnt be that bad and it would be fun.

then i went home for thanksgiving. as i was sitting in the car on the way back from oakland airport i realized something. i don't WANT to live on the east coast. those jobs were all on the east coast and everyone coming out of lehigh was going to be leading a very, very sheltered life. they were going to work somewhere really close to home (since everyone lives in NJ or PA) and then just live there life like that. no one had outside experience, had any interesting stories and just wanted to be stuck in the philly or NYC area for the rest of their lives. that did not cut it for me.

so i decided over break that i wanted to go to graduate school. 100%. i'm going to get my Ph.D in chemical engineering and see where that takes me. i really enjoy the stuff so that won't be a problem and i love research. its fun, exciting and will make me want to wake up and go to "work" (the lab) in the morning. not to mention with schools i get to PICK where i live. so i've applied to U of Washington in Seattle, Northwestern, UCSB, UC Davis and UNM. i hear back in late february and that is where my life stands.

andrew is heading to northeastern in about a week now and i'm excited for him. he'll have an awesome time in boston and i'll force myself to make time to go seem him, even if my semester is horrid like last. however, i plan to have it be easier so i can enjoy more time with everyone in the house, as well as all my other friends.

well. that's where i stand. not sure where i'm going next year but its exciting. i'll try and keep you updated... hopefully some people still read this.

au revoir.

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Date:2007-09-13 01:25
Subject:the dust has only just begun to fall

well. its been a while. and sadly the only reason i'm writing here is to talk about a dream.

a dream i had about her. she who will remain unknown, even to you journal.

obviously i don't have details about the dream, but i'm going to talk about it as i remember and as i go. here it goes:

it was her engagement party. i was invited, and so was my family randomly. but i was not engaged to her. she was engaged to someone else. but no one ever called the party an "engagement party", but in my mind it was assumed that it was so. so i was sad, very sad about this. but my parents were somehow happy about it. not overly happy but pleased and having a good time.

so they have their "ceremony" of some sorts where he gives her some kind of symbolic emblem. again, details are shady. and i begin to cry. i cry a lot, and more and more. more than i've ever cried because i'm that deeply sad about it. i'm hurt, i'm sad, i'm upset and i'm depressed. all of the bad emotions balled into one.

and i'm sitting by the lake outside the hotel that the event is at. and she comes up to me, and acts as if she doesnt know me. she asks me whats wrong, since i'm crying. i look up at her and i see the first face i want to see in her. one of concern and love and compassion. but not an empathetic compassion, but an understanding one. and i talk to her. i explain to her that i'm crying because i think i'm in love with her.

and the dream ends with her holding me, not like a lover but almost as a mother, and i'm crying into her shoulder and a warm sensation overcomes me. because i'm close to her, and that's what i had been searching for. and i see her smile, the warmth and beauty of it. and i close my eyes and sleep again.

and i wake.

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Date:2007-05-22 17:11
Mood: happy

so i haven't done this in a while and i've got some time to kill, so i figured why not update you all on my life.

done junior year of college. wow. intense how fast it's gone by and now i'm a senior. one more year til the real world? wonderful. i definitely need to get raging drunk more often. yar.

this year was pretty long and stressful. being president of KA, junior year of engineering courses, all piled up on me. but i managed through, smoked this past semester and got a 3.53. rock on, my highest gpa at lehigh yet.

as for this summer, i got a job with air products. THOUGHT i was going to be placed in allentown, PA (right by school) but they placed me in st. louis, MO. i'm pretty psyched. i'm home here in CA till june 3, then i fly to PA. stay in b-hem for a few days to get my place off campus squared away and then i hop in the car and drive out to STL. there's only one other college intern working at AP in st.louis this summer but she seems mad chill, so we'll see how the summer turns out. i'm planning a lot of bar hopping, seeing the city, etc. hopefully she's 21.

as for being 21. hoorah. it's a lot of fun, but i haven't abused it as much as you might think. havent been to bars much since i've been home because, well...no one is around that is 21 to go with me except alex. and alex is always working and wants to drink at his place. oh well.

ryan and david are doing well, still at chico and i should be going up next week sometime to see them. should be a fun time indeed.

hm..as for this year, i'm ready for a rockin 2nd half, living in st. louis and then senior year when i can slack a bit and relax. even though i am IFC VP next year.

alright kids, i'm outta here since i dont have much else to write about. drop me a line or comment to inform me you are still alive and well.

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Date:2007-03-12 12:32

my first time doing one of these... it won't be a pattern, promise.

Comment and
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll challenge you to try something.
3. I'll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
8. I'll tell you a song that reminds me of you.
9. If I do this for you, you must post this in your journal.

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Date:2007-02-14 00:25
Mood: lonely

underage drinking citation last week, sweet.
went to hospital cus bitches be laaaame.

valentine's day tomorrow and i got no one.
wait, i have an organic chemistry test and a reactor design hw to do. that works...right????

rush is over, pledging starts soon. shits going well/busy with cornell and union, but its a good busy.

school is school. girls be girls (lehigh girls that is, that don't even want to talk about a serious relationship, which sucks), and KA be KA.

sorry i don't update this much, but i would like to get around to it more. hopefully i can, but not much to say.

adios amigos.

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Date:2007-01-11 00:15
Mood: full

ah, long time no update.
lots has gone on, including saying goodbye to brenner, and jon field. it's been a tough year, 2006, for losing lots of my friends. Already 2 from my graduating class.
life's pretty real sometimes.

with that said i've been trying to live fully, live out things and not worry about stupid shit. this past semester was intense with school, the house, my obligations, etc.
but now i have an internship for next semester and i'm settled into being president. yet classes will be a big bitch, but i've never been one to back down to schoolwork.

this semester will be interesting. i'm leaving my options open (as always) but i have a few ideas about girls. i've been missing that constant in my life, someone there to talk to, call, whatever. any further than that, we'll see. college is a little intense and i think after this year i need to take my foot off the gas and slow down hella.

going back to lehigh, responsibility, fun, KA, work and much more on sunday. should be a good semester and i turn 21 in just 3 short months.

god damn i'm getting old.

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Date:2006-12-01 20:31
Subject:dearest brenna
Mood: nostalgic


hey dear, oh man do i miss you. but you have been off in ghana doing amazing things, learning more than i could imagine and most of all being happy with life. i just wanted to write you, and i'm sorry that it took this for me to write to you.

after 2.5 years of college i still miss jazz band mornings and you and tristan being two little love birds. sigh, high school was a time of some intense naivety. i guess you've just gone a little farther then us all in getting out of that shell.

oh brenna, i'm really going to miss your smile. that kooky grin you got when you were laughing or just saying hi. your freckles that made your face seem so bright and cheery all the time, even with a frown. i made a collage of you for my desktop. it will have to do for now.

even when i look now at pictures of you i can see all the passion and love you had in your eyes, it's so beautiful. if not just for us friends missing you, the world will surely miss out on your beauitful personality and your love for life.

i know you're happy my dear, and i know you're looking down at us, laughing and smiling, watching us all fumble around in our lives. it'll be nice to look up at night and see you sometimes.

i cried for you for the first time last night. and i'm crying now but its okay because i need to. its a release for me. you touched my life for only 3 years but it was beyond amazing.

i will always be here remembering you and seeing you around, and i know i'll see you soon dear. you are sorely missed and just know that i love you.

sleep happy and always keep a smile on your face kiddo.

much love, and i'll see you soon.

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Date:2006-11-09 23:45

so pumped to head back west tomorrow. it will be a really nice break for me.

city by the baaaay here i come.

also, things are very well in my life. school is pretty tough, but when is it not? learn and live baby.

my car is doing well, the house is going pretty good and being president is not that overwhelming anymore. shhhhweeeet.

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Date:2006-10-17 03:14
Mood: chipper

i get a free trip to san francisco for 3 days in november!

so pumped.

lots of stuff to talk about, will update sometime. ask me if you like.

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Date:2006-09-21 01:17

this whole "life" deal is not really happening for me.

oh wait, it is, just i'm doing so much intense stuff that, as weird as it seems, i'm becoming what i thought i could never become:

someone who forgets random things and has no time for internet/computers/free time.

but i like that because i feel like i'd just waste my free time anyway. alright back to work. peace out homies.


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Date:2006-08-31 21:21

life is so hectic but i'm loving it!!! I will write soon all, promise.

peace and crackers.

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Date:2006-08-02 23:59

so its my second to last night here in albuquerque, new mexico and its becoming hard to leave. it's almost like leaving for college was, like I feel really shitty about leaving all these great people. i dont know, its a pretty unique feeling but i hope i stay in contact with a lot of these people.

anyways, lots done in the past few days:

-got my poster ready for the conference at Cornell and Kinko's is printing it now, i'll pick -that sexy ish up tomorrow.
-finished my presentation for tomorrow as well as Cornell
-getting psyched for my roadtrip to Cornell
-finishing up my research paper that will (hopefully) get published.

so there's lots been going on in my life. i have a lot to do tomorrow, but it'll be nice with the macaroni grill roast and toast, and then cigars with the duders afterwards. its been one hell of a fucking ride and i love em all. now it's time to see some of the US of A, including (but not limited to), new mexico, texas, oklahoma, missouri, kentucky, ohio, PA and then finally to cornell. cities included: amarillo TX, okie city OK, st. louis MO, louisville KY, cleveland OH, ithaca NY and then finally after the conference, down to good ol bethlehem PA.

well that's all i've got, gotta get up early tomorrow to give my last presentation to the UNM cats and then celebrations all around.

love to you all

PS i'm back in santa rosa on aug 13th till aug 22nd, CALL ME UP SON!

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Date:2006-07-11 23:35
Subject:long overdue
Mood: chill

well lets see, time for a DML run-down:

life is good here in albuquerque, NM and i'm really really enjoying this city and the surrounding areas of the state.

the people in my program here for the REU are all so diverse, its really fun to be around them all. we have who served in the air force, a mormon back from his mission, people from all corners of the US and much more. everyone brings a new life and side of their story to the table that it always makes hanging out with them a lot of fun. i've made really good friends with about 3 or 4 of the people here and it will be weird when we have to part ways in 3 weeks for a long time. seeing as i dont go to school with these people it will be weird to not see them everyday like i have been for the past 6 weeks.

research is pretty fun and i think a pretty monumentous thing has happened in terms of my life goals switching a bit. i've pretty much fully decided i want to go to grad school because i think it'll definitely benefit me in the long run, not to mention that i love the idea of research and continuing my education. welp that was easy. if only life was that easy as well, which it isn't, let me tell you freddy.

i've met a girl here who i've really hit it off with as a summer fling style thing. i'm really glad i've met her because she constantly is forcing me to open up and just be way more easy going and personable, not to mention affectionate and sexual. i think its a really great growing experience and i totally enjoy her company, she's a great girl. and older than me as well. hi-oh!

well lehigh is only 6 weeks (exactly) away from today and its exciting and a lot of anticipation. i already can tell i'll have a lot on my plate with being president of KA, not to mention my classwork and other parts of life. i'm trying not to think about that far in advance just because i'm really really enjoying my time here at UNM in the REU and everyone around me.

i am smoking more weed. i like it. nuff said about that topic.

otherwise this is a pretty amazing summer. i got to visit juarez, mexico (right next to el paso, TX) which was a really intense experience. it really made me want to learn french/spanish much better and travel a lot. i'm definitely considering living abroad next summer as an option, not to mention working when i'd be abroad. but yeah, mexico opened my eyes to a lot. opened me up to what i really felt inside about a lot of things, and i think it was well-timed with me reading ernesto "che" guevara's biography. he had lots of aspirations and was extremely passionate about things that were important to him, and i respect that a lot. walking through the streets of juarez at night (although drunk with my REU buds) really made me think about what effect the US has on its citizens and those around it. the US is a very imperialistic nation and it has been this way ever since the civil war ended. its sad but very true and believe me, i'm open to discussion. the US needs to calm the fuck down because the more we try and get involved, the more Iran's and North Korea's we get that want to blow us the fuck up.

i also think i may be a socialist at heart. this has been brewing in me for a while and i feel as if it relates my political views the best at this point. but then again i dont really like politics and think it complicates everything, so yeah.

well sorry this was long, but if you stuck through it all, thank you. sorry i've been so lazy about updating about my life, that's a decent portion of what i've been through since may or so. any questions, comments or if you just wanna say hi, please, don't hesitate. chances are i miss you or miss talking to you.

hasta luego

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Date:2006-06-26 15:28
Subject:gaelic storm

now if you don't know me by now, you should know that i love love love irish music (and most other things irish).

here's basically the best band/song ever:

i love irelandCollapse )
k bye.

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Date:2006-06-15 00:50

listening to frances the mute by mars volta

while blazed.

fucking shit man. intensity like no other.

these keys are hella weird.

this girl is really cool. bah.

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Date:2006-06-06 20:58
Subject:new mexican paradise

new mexico is good and work is really interesting, not to mention intense.

not much else to say? except that my previous entry was a pretty embarassing black out entry. and when i read it i kind of get lonely. weird.

i guess just lately i've been needing some kind of attachment. who knows.

welp, back to working on my research proposal presentation for tomorrow. those are 2 words that will be wayyyy over used this summer:
research and presentation.

later kids.

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Date:2006-06-03 00:20

alubuquerque is fun and good times as usual, with its suspected interesting times.

nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention.

it cannot wait i'm yours...

god damnit i miss smammers but this girl here is reallly cool. what do i do? can i have your opinions? she's fun and spunky and a great smile and smammers. well she's sarah micmack.


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Date:2006-05-30 22:45

new mexico is pretty fucking sick.

and my project is hella intense.

not much time to write, the girls downstairs are cute.

that's cool

love you all.

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Date:2006-05-26 01:20

leaving for new mexico in less than 24 hours.

and then it's lots of driving cross country and 10 weeks at UNM in albuquerque.

living with some new people,
researching intense shit

and getting to know myself just a little bit better.

things look to be hopeful. i'll see all you cats soon enough.

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Date:2006-05-14 00:12

well halfway done college. finals went well and its nice to be home, even though it's only for a short while.

big/intense summer coming up with 10 weeks of living in new mexico and doing research. i'm excited to do something i'm interested in and make money, as well as living with new people and hopefully making some friends from around the country. should be good times for sure.

otherwise not much else new? we'll see about grades in a week or so i guess? just chillin out here in santa rosa till may 26th i believe. then shipping off (driving down to) UNM.

good times. hope to hear from you all soon crazy cats.

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